Where’s that Handcart?

We all know what’s wrong with the world today, don’t we?

The Ratchet is Back

Posted by Malcolm Toogood on August 14, 2012
Posted in: Where's that Handcart?. Tagged: , , , , .

Well, at least the BBC Doom-Mongers gave us a day off before they transformed their bulletins back to the news equivalent of Leonard Cohen songs.

Volunteers from London 2012 still Feeling Good!

Today we were told that rail fares will be going up, that the Eurozone is almost in recession and that 54% of people think the Olympic spirit will be short-lived.  The first of those subjects was delivered with a technique that had been temporarily-retired for the last two weeks – the ratchet.  Continue Reading

It says ‘ere …

Posted by Malcolm Toogood on August 7, 2012
Posted in: London 2012 a view from the Couch, Where's that Handcart?. Tagged: , , , , , , .

Despite early fears about the numbers of security guards at London 2012, there was confirmation yesterday that the organisers have managed to fully-meet their quota of Jobsworths for this year’s Games.

A London 2012 Jobsworth joins in the celebrations with Usain Bolt after his victory in the 100-Metres

In an interview with the media, 100-metre Gold Medal winner Usain Bolt explained how he encountered these shadowy figures within the staff at the Olympic Stadium: “It has been different from Beijing.  There are lots of rules, weird, silly rules that don’t make any sense to me.  I tried to wear my tie into here, they said ‘no’. I said why? ‘Because of the rules’, they said.  Then I wanted to bring my skipping rope in and they said ‘no’ because it’s ‘the rules’. These rules just don’t make sense to me.”

Continue Reading

Honesty, Integrity and Fair Dealing

Posted by Malcolm Toogood on July 5, 2012
Posted in: Where's that Handcart?. Tagged: , , , , .

Dear Marcus

I understand that Your Bank is on the lookout for a new CEO, so I thought I would just drop you a line to let you know that I am available and willing to take on the challenges that post would provide for me.  I know that we have not met, but I thought we should start off on first name terms as it will show you that I have thoroughly researched the ethos of Your Bank, including taking note of the manner in which Your Bank executives conduct meetings with senior politicians, which was very impressive I have to say.

Barclays Chairman, Marcus Agius, gives evidence to The Parliamentary Committee following the less-than-convincing performance of his outgoing CEO, Bob Diamond

Let me start by making a simple statement that will, I believe, provide most of the evidence you will need to realise why I am the best man to succeed my predecessor in that job:  I love Your Bank.  I love Your Bank because of the people.   History will judge Your Bank as an incredible institution because of its people, and the best way for me to help with that is to be in a position to step-down whenever required.  But I can’t do that unless I am one of those people.

Continue Reading

Computer Says No

Posted by Malcolm Toogood on June 27, 2012
Posted in: Where's that Handcart?. Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , .

Those of us that do not bank with RBS, or any of their subsidiaries, are probably breathing a sigh of relief that the recent computer glitch did not happen at our bank.  After all, how many of us could have coped with the ostensible freezing of our bank balances for the time it eventually took to fix?

But, unbeknown to many of us, and beyond the obvious immediate ground-zero of no anticipated money in one’s Nat West Account, there are potential side-effects that could still cause our own domino to be in line for toppling, even when RBS are not our bank – invisible, radiation-style effects brought about by IT systems automated to collect data for credit rating reports, that could diminish one’s apparent financial health in the longer-term?

Continue Reading