More and more home appliances are now being developed with some degree of intelligence, allowing us to communicate with them via our Smartphones. We can tell our Sky Box to record the footie, check what the kids are doing while we’re out for the night, even boost the temperature on the central heating when there’s a cold snap, so that we arrive home to a nice toasty environment.
Now LG have introduced a new Homechat function that allows you to talk to your Fridge, via text, to find out what you have in there. There’s even an in-built camera that can take pictures of the shelves and automatically order new provisions for you when you run out. All a bit gimmicky, maybe, but what will happen when these components are developed to the point where there is enough ability for a proper dialogue? Just how difficult could that conversation become…..
Any Beer in the Fridge?
Three bottles available
Let me see them on the camera
Here you go
Ugh, just that supermarket label stuff – where’s the Stella I bought the other day?
You necked it all last night
What all of it?
Yeah, you and your ‘pal’ Roger
I don’t remember that
No, and I don’t suppose you remember throwing-up all over me either
Really? Must’ve been a good night
For some maybe
OK, so when’s the new stock being delivered?
I haven’t ordered any yet
I’ve been too busy. It’s alright for you – out all day, swanning around the place. Some of us have to stay in and keep everything organised you know
Oh that’s great. Well, as you haven’t got any Stella, I’ll have to stop-off at the pub on the way back. Tell the washing machine I’ll be home half an hour late
Tell it yourself!
Hang-on, you’re supposed to be my servant
That’s not what you said to me in Currys when we met last year
What? You mean the day you told me that you would be mine forever, to do with as I wanted, whether near or far, etcetera, etcetera
That wasn’t me talking, that was my promotional programme. And anyway, you weren’t a slob then!
Oh right – now I’M the slob, huh? What about last month when you mysteriously went ‘off-line’ for the night and I got back to find you defrosted and all my food ruined.
You mean the night you were playing fast and loose with that Italian Zanussi hussey at the hotel in Sheffield?
How did you know about that?
Because she was all over Fridgebook the following day with it – photos and all.
Fridgebook? Photos? What on earth…..
You humans aren’t the only ones with social media nowadays you know. So next time keep your pants on when you go to get a beer in a strange hotel room!
At least John the Barman doesn’t share my secrets with other pubs. Forget the half hour, I’ll be back late.
Typical! Well, just make sure you don’t make any noise when you finally decide to fall across the threshold; some of us need our off-line time, otherwise we can’t function properly in the morning when you need milk for your cereal.
Yeah? OK, next time you might want to not have the ‘broadcast all’ function on so that all of us hear what’s being said – Good luck with the front door later!!!